Have you ever heard of the stereotypical mom labels? You know, crunchy mom, hippie mom, research mom, juicebox mom, etc. If you don’t know which variety you are, ask your girlfriend, she’ll know. 😉
I’m the hot mess mom.
I am an aspiring crunchy mom in that I do my best to give my family wholesome food, but just cannot get it together in any area of my life no matter the perfection of circumstances. I am also a perfectionist…so just imagine the turmoil in my head on a daily basis.
All the time Recently, I wondered why I just can’t get my life together. I work at something around the clock just like everyone else, yet I’m always behind. I look at minimalist accounts on Instagram and wonder what kind of witchcraft produces someone with the ability to do that, if they in fact do exist in real life. Those with the white backdrops and the KonMari method down as a lifestyle…I’m pretty sure they do actually exist somewhere. I have books on the KonMari method, but have never read them. Pretty sure I know where they are though, so that’s a little less hot messy…right?
I always feel like literally everyone else has it together. Well, at least more than I do, standards are pretty low, let’s be real here. Seriously, if I could only get it together enough to make it somewhere on time, amiright? Just me? Maybe I’ll figure that out right after I remember to pack the Little a snack so I don’t have to shudder through the drive-thru window as I order her favorite fries at McDonalds…for the third time that week. Obviously, if you’re going to be gone more than a couple of hours, the Little might want to snack. One of these day’s, I’ll figure that out. I’ve only had a year and a half so far.
I got to thinking about what it means to be a hot mess mom, past the obvious mess off a life and high stress threshold.
Quite honestly, I think most moms are in fact hot messes, at least in their own minds. Some have mastered the art of having it more together publicly, which I envy, but most of us are disappointed daily with our performance in regards to their families and general life. We are all struggling somewhere, in some aspect. Remembering this when I’m feeling funky is a challenge, but I do try to.
To my fellow hot mess sisters, I think if we could just figure out one thing that would help, we might not lose every ounce of our sanity completely by 10am. For me, I am actually going to keep my lists in ONE notebook, and actually keep track of that notebook. If I can accomplish that, then I get a huge amount of satisfaction from crossing off to-dos (my perfectionism piece). Plus, I might make it to an appointment mostly on time and maybe even remember a birthday once in awhile. It’s a big deal.
For you, maybe it’s only hitting snooze four times instead of seven and instead going for a run that will help you feel like you’re starting the day being productive. Or, maybe you need the goal to be creative three times a week to ensure you don’t lose your sanity. Perhaps reconnecting with a group of friends would do it for you. Whatever it might be, try changing the ONE thing that would give you the most bang for your sanity buck. Bonus points if it promotes efficiency and productivity.
Additionally, I’m going to put something out there: if you’re reading this because you know a hot mess, I think your hot-mess friend is probably a pretty great friend. After you wait at the coffee shop for an extra twenty minutes while she texts you play by plays of where she is and apologies of her lateness, obviously. But when she arrives, she will listen to your disasters and mistakes and nod her head. She doesn’t have anything to judge you for, and can likely empathize. You’re likely able to be pretty open with your hot mess friend; she likely is to you (probably because her flaws aren’t that hidden in the first place).
And finally, here’s the cliche thing: even though you’re often a disaster, your kids are probably happy and they don’t notice. Although I’m basically always stressed out, I really try to give the Little experiences she gets to use her mind for, and when she’s older, I plan on spending time giving her experiences that she’ll remember. Not perfect experiences and I will probably forget half of the supplies or make the reservation, but good experiences nonetheless. Will your kids remember and appreciate never seeing dirty dishes in the sink and perfect vacuum lines, or will they remember and appreciate you sitting in the fort you spent all afternoon making with them? Not that there’s anything wrong with being clean, it’s just that we’re only given 24 hours within a day and we all have to pick and choose what to do with that time. Which attributes would you like them to pass down to your grandchildren? Let’s be real here. Time spent with our families is worth much more than not ever having Cheerios on the floor. You can quickly sweep the Cheerios and hide the pile as a surprise guest comes in the door. You can’t fix lonely kids, even if their outfit matches.
Your turn – what’s ONE thing you could work on changing that would help you keep some of your sanity and lower your hot messiness?